I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
