there was a trapeze. enough said
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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