You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
