real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
