question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
