you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
