Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
