So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
