There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
