Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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