OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
