You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
