i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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