i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
