these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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