the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
