i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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