Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
