youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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