so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
