He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
