Only a mothe r could love this liver
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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