She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize