the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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