Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize