I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
