I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she pinky promised me she was 18
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize