am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
