But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
