please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
