you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
