Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
