Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
