Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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