i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
