i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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