I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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