She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
