Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
