I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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