dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He did a backflip because drugs
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