I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Bring me that man meat
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
