No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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