No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
