I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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