Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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