I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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