so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I look better un-naked...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
