my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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