nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
