the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
