I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I forget how to act sober
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
