Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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