dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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