We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Alive.
So much puke
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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