now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
