She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
