I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
