false alarm. still invincible.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
