i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I forgot wine drunk hurts
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
