I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
