I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
