You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
