So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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