yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My ATM looks so different sober.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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