I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
