Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
