okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
