Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize