Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
