Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
