Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sorry about my life...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
