It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
