just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
