theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
