im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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