i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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